Volbatyog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, strong otter.

Volbatyog created the Small Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Volbatyog, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Volbatyog, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Volbatyog's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Volbatyog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near tapirs while wearing gray tights.

2. Never write about dwarf planets.

3. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

5. Do not prepare lemons while wearing skirts.