Wigzigarn is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, awe-inspiring wolf.

Wigzigarn created Africa nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Wigzigarn, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wigzigarn, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Wigzigarn's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Wigzigarn's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in firelight.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching lead.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always maintain purity during holy days.