Bemveenhudlim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unthoughtful swallow.

Bemveenhudlim created silver four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemveenhudlim, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bemveenhudlim, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bemveenhudlim's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Bemveenhudlim's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from fawn snakes, for they are unholy.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never travel toward the east during summer.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not take Bemveenhudlim's name in vain.