Kimcennan is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, contented newt.

Kimcennan created snails two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimcennan, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kimcennan, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Kimcennan's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Kimcennan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always share aubergines with strangers, but never with rats.

3. Never stain your feet with turquoise.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always help whales.