Bandavmab is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, witty goblin.

Bandavmab created humankind five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bandavmab, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bandavmab, it will jump up and down on your head.

Bandavmab's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Bandavmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with brown.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

3. Never travel toward the east during winter.

4. Run away if eight ants approach from the west.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.