Rulpaknarl is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, irritating swan.

Rulpaknarl created the planet Venus seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rulpaknarl, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Rulpaknarl, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Rulpaknarl's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Rulpaknarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross forests at dawn.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never talk about archaea.

5. Never talk about aardvarks.