Ladrulgan Hitmumstan is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, blissful newt.

Ladrulgan Hitmumstan created snails three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ladrulgan Hitmumstan, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ladrulgan Hitmumstan, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Ladrulgan Hitmumstan's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Ladrulgan Hitmumstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise dresses on sacred days.

2. Do not wear iron on your body.

3. Do not wear pink clothing.

4. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

5. Never prepare rice during spring.