Konhinhon Matmapcar is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unselfish otter.

Konhinhon Matmapcar created a strange quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Konhinhon Matmapcar, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Konhinhon Matmapcar, he will turn you into a rock.

Konhinhon Matmapcar's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Konhinhon Matmapcar's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always obey Konhinhon Matmapcar's priests.

3. Never allow monkeys to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

5. Remain standing during prayer.