Tunquimkenfemmippibstrag is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, clever scorpion.

Tunquimkenfemmippibstrag created the Small Magellanic Cloud six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunquimkenfemmippibstrag, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tunquimkenfemmippibstrag, she will destroy your favourite star.

Tunquimkenfemmippibstrag's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Tunquimkenfemmippibstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist fate.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not skip at crossroads.

4. Always remove shoes before touching tin.

5. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.