Omthonweg is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, vain wasp.

Omthonweg created the universe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Omthonweg, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Omthonweg, she will curse you with boils.

Omthonweg's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Omthonweg's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Omthonweg's priests.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Omthonweg.

3. Heed all portents.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Never mark doors with violet.