Spagcatbam is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unfair guinea pig.

Spagcatbam created Europe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagcatbam, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Spagcatbam, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Spagcatbam's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Spagcatbam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study amino acids on holy days.

2. Spagcatbam loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.