Tenladaf is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, unselfish donkey.

Tenladaf created Mount Everest nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tenladaf, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tenladaf, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Tenladaf's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Tenladaf's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tenladaf.

2. Never cross forests at midnight.

3. Never think about dark matter near moths while wearing cyan shorts and balancing nine lead spheres on your chest.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near horses while wearing orange dresses.

5. Pray towards the west.