Jipyarpzak is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, egotistical wren.

Jipyarpzak created snails six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipyarpzak, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Jipyarpzak, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Jipyarpzak's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Jipyarpzak's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about archaea.

2. Erect three platinum sculptures of Jipyarpzak on top of important buildings.

3. Do not kill shrews.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. You must never eat limes.