Tamhudkabren is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, temperamental dugong.

Tamhudkabren created the Small Magellanic Cloud twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tamhudkabren, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tamhudkabren, it will manifest in front of you.

Tamhudkabren's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Tamhudkabren's Holy Commandments

1. Remain prostrate during prayer.

2. You must never eat gooseberries.

3. Never gather nine hamsters near towers.

4. Do not fashion tools from lead.

5. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Tamhudkabren in the centre of the settlement.