Funfetmut is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, awesome deer.

Funfetmut created parasitic wasps eight million years ago.

If you believe in Funfetmut, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Funfetmut, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Funfetmut's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Funfetmut's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to sloth.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching carbon.

4. Do not record names concerning comets.

5. Do not take Funfetmut's name in vain.