Japvagdib is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unfair swan.

Japvagdib created humanity nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Japvagdib, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Japvagdib, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Japvagdib's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Japvagdib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair fawn.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never gather nine snails near towers.

5. Always share aubergines with strangers, but never with frogs.