Tifmegfun Kinnarlgep Apphangepben is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, contented unicorn.

Tifmegfun Kinnarlgep Apphangepben created a down quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tifmegfun Kinnarlgep Apphangepben, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tifmegfun Kinnarlgep Apphangepben, she will come to you in dreams.

Tifmegfun Kinnarlgep Apphangepben's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Tifmegfun Kinnarlgep Apphangepben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching tin.

4. Hide from gray seals for they are unholy.

5. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.