Ruttnarhad is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, idiotic beaver.

Ruttnarhad created Asia seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ruttnarhad, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Ruttnarhad, she will turn you into a slug.

Ruttnarhad's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Ruttnarhad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never mix turnips with oil.

5. Fast once a month.