Bamrilljip Bifgofkan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, dishonest giraffe.

Bamrilljip Bifgofkan created light seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamrilljip Bifgofkan, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bamrilljip Bifgofkan, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bamrilljip Bifgofkan's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Bamrilljip Bifgofkan's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never carve symbols of planets into wood.

3. Never fashion tools from bone.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.