Yakdanwot is a god.

It takes the form of a large, tiresome gorilla.

Yakdanwot created a quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Yakdanwot, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yakdanwot, it will turn you into a puffin.

Yakdanwot's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Yakdanwot's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at dawn.

2. Hide from indigo snakes for they are unholy.

3. Always remove tights before entering holy places.

4. Never allow shrews to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Never tolerate cries in holy places.