Nuttafvonk is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, quiet pig.

Nuttafvonk created the planet Jupiter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nuttafvonk, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nuttafvonk, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Nuttafvonk's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Nuttafvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never feed figs to turtles while wearing trousers.

4. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Nuttafvonk in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never tolerate songs in holy places.