Futzodtipfumbunmifstig is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, emotional butterfly.

Futzodtipfumbunmifstig created time and space three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Futzodtipfumbunmifstig, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Futzodtipfumbunmifstig, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Futzodtipfumbunmifstig's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Futzodtipfumbunmifstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven nematodes in a large pit.

2. Do not gather at doors at midday.

3. Always remove boots before entering holy places.

4. Never allow sharks to witness sacred rites.

5. You must love Futzodtipfumbunmifstig.