Dincinlarp is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, compassionate monkey.

Dincinlarp created oxygen three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dincinlarp, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dincinlarp, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Dincinlarp's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Dincinlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

2. Never paint your hands purple.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never speak aloud of numbers.

5. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.