Tarppaslen is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, humorless giraffe.

Tarppaslen created an up quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Tarppaslen, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tarppaslen, he will be very sad.

Tarppaslen's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Tarppaslen's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with turquoise.

2. Always look after injured frogs.

3. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

4. Never proclaim while facing east.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.