Ominlapton is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, merciful horse.

Ominlapton created the Large Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Ominlapton, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ominlapton, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Ominlapton's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Ominlapton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at walls at dusk.

2. Always act with humility.

3. Never handle nickel while unclean.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always treat pigs with great respect.