Miftamcit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, tranquil penguin.

Miftamcit created water eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Miftamcit, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Miftamcit, he will turn you into a snail.

Miftamcit's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Miftamcit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not record numbers concerning black holes.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Worship no other gods but Miftamcit.

5. Do not drink water in orange rooms.