Sadjam is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, dishonourable manatee.

Sadjam created humanity four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sadjam, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sadjam, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Sadjam's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Sadjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with joy.

2. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never touch oil while clean.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.