Kapdumlim is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, moody mongoose.

Kapdumlim created light four years ago.

If you believe in Kapdumlim, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kapdumlim, she will be very unhappy.

Kapdumlim's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Kapdumlim's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the west during autumn.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Kapdumlim on top of all buildings.

3. Never think about spacetime near mice while wearing violet shorts and balancing four copper spheres on your hands.

4. Never eat peas.

5. Always help squirrels in need.