Sterquamkim is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, boastful toad.

Sterquamkim created a bottom quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sterquamkim, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sterquamkim, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Sterquamkim's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Sterquamkim's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight platinum sculptures of Sterquamkim on top of important buildings.

2. Never wear green shirts.

3. Never remain kneeling at midnight.

4. Never speak aloud of names.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.