Dabcembog is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, quiet mink.

Dabcembog created vertebrates three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dabcembog, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dabcembog, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Dabcembog's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Dabcembog's Holy Commandments

1. Never curse while facing west.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never discuss deoxyribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never sit in the presence of elders.