Gamkomgutcutgum Pangjenged is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, duplicitous goat.

Gamkomgutcutgum Pangjenged created bats six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gamkomgutcutgum Pangjenged, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gamkomgutcutgum Pangjenged, it will turn you into a tree.

Gamkomgutcutgum Pangjenged's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Gamkomgutcutgum Pangjenged's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Hide if five pigs approach from the west.

3. Never bounce in the presence of turtles.

4. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Gamkomgutcutgum Pangjenged in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never write about asteroids.