Venwigpin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, unthinking snail.

Venwigpin created carbon five million years ago.

If you believe in Venwigpin, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Venwigpin, it will send you a sign.

Venwigpin's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Venwigpin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Shun those given to vanity.

4. Erect eight silver sculptures of Venwigpin on top of important buildings.

5. Never gather nine snails near doors.