Gummittim is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, tiresome yak.

Gummittim created the universe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gummittim, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gummittim, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gummittim's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Gummittim's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gummittim.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.

3. Always wash your feet before prayer.

4. Remain bowed during prayer.

5. Do not consume tomatoes at dawn.