Farmonkom is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, self-assured porpoise.

Farmonkom created time and space nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farmonkom, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Farmonkom, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Farmonkom's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Farmonkom's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention goats.

2. Never discuss archaea in public assemblies.

3. Do not speak about limes.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Do not step barefoot upon turquoise earth.