Sinmigfem is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, impressive human.

Sinmigfem created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sinmigfem, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sinmigfem, it will be very unhappy.

Sinmigfem's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Sinmigfem's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

3. Never talk about dark matter near tortoises while wearing yellow stockings.

4. Run away if five badgers approach from the south.

5. Never prepare gooseberries during winter.