Japflatvin is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, ruthless dugong.

Japflatvin created the Milkyway nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Japflatvin, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Japflatvin, he will be very unhappy.

Japflatvin's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Japflatvin's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Japflatvin.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never pray while filled with pride.

4. Do not jump at forests.

5. Do not covet oxen.