Sterlarpveen is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, annoying tortoise.

Sterlarpveen created a top quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Sterlarpveen, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sterlarpveen, it will think nothing of it.

Sterlarpveen's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Sterlarpveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill gulls.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always remove rings before entering holy places.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.