Bomkikwee Gofkamgad is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unthoughtful shark.

Bomkikwee Gofkamgad created life two years ago.

If you believe in Bomkikwee Gofkamgad, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bomkikwee Gofkamgad, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bomkikwee Gofkamgad's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Bomkikwee Gofkamgad's Holy Commandments

1. Bomkikwee Gofkamgad loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

2. Never speak at dusk.

3. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Never wear turquoise corsets on sacred days.

5. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.