Flowbegnull is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, stupid alligator.

Flowbegnull created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Flowbegnull, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Flowbegnull, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Flowbegnull's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Flowbegnull's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt snails.

2. Never write about quantum gravity.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never laugh near swans.

5. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.