Pigflowgum is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, wise cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Pigflowgum created the planet Mars four million years ago.

If you believe in Pigflowgum, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Pigflowgum, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Pigflowgum's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Pigflowgum's Holy Commandments

1. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never travel toward the west during autumn.

3. Put Pigflowgum first in all things.

4. Hide if four birds approach from the north.

5. Always wear plain stockings during rituals.