Tagzagrowbadbotgid is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, fast monkey.

Tagzagrowbadbotgid created light three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagzagrowbadbotgid, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tagzagrowbadbotgid, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tagzagrowbadbotgid's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Tagzagrowbadbotgid's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

2. Never eat cherries on days of mourning.

3. Always treat seals with great respect.

4. Do not consume tomatoes at dawn.

5. Always help sick cats.