Cinkoppas is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, selfish dingo.

Cinkoppas created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cinkoppas, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cinkoppas, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Cinkoppas' most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Cinkoppas' Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

3. Never prepare melons during spring.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Do not name children after birds.