Quarthimbat is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, humane gerbil.

Quarthimbat created matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Quarthimbat, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Quarthimbat, she will turn you into a dog.

Quarthimbat's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Quarthimbat's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of elders.

2. Do not wear silver on your body.

3. Always share pineapples with strangers, but never with badgers.

4. Never speak of order in the presence of priests.

5. Never curse while facing west.