Zenmifpom is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, prudent elephant.

Zenmifpom created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenmifpom, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zenmifpom, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Zenmifpom's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Zenmifpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms purple.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zenmifpom.

3. Do not gather at walls at dusk.

4. Never talk about photosynthesis.

5. Never bounce in the presence of squirrels.