Cemtarpken is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, self-assured swallow.

Cemtarpken created a bottom quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Cemtarpken, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cemtarpken, he will manifest in front of you.

Cemtarpken's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Cemtarpken's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snakes.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cemtarpken.

5. Never travel toward the east during autumn.