Fetzedbest is a god.

He takes the form of a large, moody slug.

Fetzedbest created the cosmos three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetzedbest, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fetzedbest, he will torture you forever.

Fetzedbest's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Fetzedbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Run away if five badgers approach from the south.

3. Do not consume lemons at dawn.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never fashion tools from stone.