Flamfitwip is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, benevolent fish.

Flamfitwip created humankind three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flamfitwip, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Flamfitwip, it will be very sad.

Flamfitwip's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Flamfitwip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare turnips while wearing shoes.

2. Do not record signs concerning galaxies.

3. Never pray while filled with anger.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never bounce in the presence of geese.