Monhigarp is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, slow guinea pig.

Monhigarp created tapeworms six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monhigarp, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Monhigarp, it will send minions to preach to you.

Monhigarp's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Monhigarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of lemons to nematodes while wearing red rings.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching zinc.

5. Do not wear jumpers marked with pink.