Lincetcar is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, selfish seal.

Lincetcar created oxygen two years ago.

If you believe in Lincetcar, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lincetcar, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Lincetcar's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Lincetcar's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with magenta.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Lincetcar loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.

4. Never wear black hats on sacred days.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.