Flowcatrillcep is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, pitiless sheep.

Flowcatrillcep created humanity nine million years ago.

If you believe in Flowcatrillcep, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Flowcatrillcep, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Flowcatrillcep's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Flowcatrillcep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not name children after horses.

3. Hide from turquoise foxes for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not cook food in pots.